The Robert Cole Association - a struggle with patience, wisdom and emotion

Visiting the Robert Cole Association - a discussion with the director of the center

Zăvoi, a quiet neighborhood in the town of Comănești in Romania, is home to the Robert Cole Association, a daily care centre where therapy and recovery services are offered for over 80 children with disabilities in the Trotușului Valley. Established in 1996, the association bears the name of Robert Cole, in memory of a young Englishman who died while conducting humanitarian activities in Comăneşti.

During the school year, children from various villages such as Dofteana, Dărmănești, Asău, Agăș, Brusturoasa, Leontinești, Ardeoani, Ghimeș-Făget and Scorțeni come to Robert Cole to follow, based on a well-established programme set by the specialists of the association, their own adapted recovery programme. The dedication and efforts of the specialists’ team consisting in speech therapists, physiotherapists and psycho-pedagogues attract children, not only during the school year, but also on holidays. On average, each child spends 45 minutes in an activity and a quarter of an hour is allocated to the parent counseling activity.

The director of the association, Cristina Chirilă explains: “For example, the child who does not pronounce l-r-ș-t is not playing games. Once escaped from the attention of parents, these practices, if not corrected from the age of 3, 4, 5 maximum 6 years, become serious problems." The centre provides therapies such as language and communication, ludotherapy, kinesiotherapy and speech therapy, but also provides counseling to parents. "Parents are the most affected ones, because they are directly involved and may be biased, subjective and fail to realize from a medical, emotional and human point of view the seriousness of their children's problems," details Cristina Chirilă.

Overwhelmed by the situation 
Before starting the therapy, the specialists of the centre have a first meeting with the parent and try to find out preliminary details about the child's case. “The emotional journey of a parent who has a child with special needs starts with guilt, then denial and, finally, acceptance. Then comes the fight and the hope that it will be better. In parenting counseling sessions, we actually go through all these stages together. It's not an easy journey, but this is the mission of our association,” stresses the director of the centre."

There are parents who do not know how to deal with their children, for example the young mothers who threw themselves into the rush of life and whose fate let them down. They lack experience, adaptation, acceptance of suffering and do not understand what happens to their child." The specialists of the centre offer advice and help them accept the situation and accept themselves: "Only together can we make things easier and more realistic for them. We try in different ways, gradually, with patience and education to approach the situation in the right way. We are here with educational and especially emotional support for them. Dads come to counseling too and there are cases when the entire family participates in counseling, because they are really overwhelmed by the situation. They hope that someone will bring them a hope of light, a better understanding and a change," adds Cristina Chirilă.

At Robert Cole, the first evaluation session is free, but the rest of the services are paid. "We can cover from the sponsorships only the salaries of the employees and some of the cleaning products, office supplies and educational equipment." Every year, the center's sponsors come during the Christmas period and carry out an activity where the children receive gifts. Gifts do not stop here, they also reach less fortunate families, which have limited financial possibilities. The activity of the Robert Cole Association is appreciated by the HS Baco Panels team, and therefore the company covers a part of the monthly expenses of the association.

„People who work here are gifted” 
"Dedication, self-forgetfulness and total dedication in each case are essential to our staff. People who work here are gifted. Not everyone can resist, it's like someone above chose them to help," says Cristina Chirilă.

At Robert Cole local volunteers, as well as foreign volunteers join the activities, and there are also various collaborations with the surrounding schools and the high school students, who come only for certain events. "The daily interaction of the children with the volunteers is not really indicated," explains the director. "On the one hand, some children refuse the human contact and on the other hand, even volunteers have to benefit from therapy. Voluntary activities must be carried out under the strict supervision of the specialist, even if it is only about reading stories or drawing."

"The Robert Cole universe is a special world, very sensitive, very beautiful, emotional and exhausting at the same time," Cristina Chirilă says. The rewards and satisfaction of staff or volunteers sometimes come very hard. "I'm glad for every progress. For example, for the beautiful evolution of a case of kinesiotherapy. A child was not able to walk alone but only with a parent's help and now they are walking alone. Or you're happy when a child hands you a drawing and writes your name on it. For some children this is a fantastic achievement, to be able to identify you.” Unfortunately, for some children there is recovery only to some extent or not at all: “Some will never be able to handle themselves, so serious are the cases. It is a struggle with patience, wisdom and emotion.”

“But if you manage to keep still a child with autism for half an hour and manage to get his attention for ten minutes, it is a great achievement. You leave them alone for a few minutes and then you interact again.” This entire journey is an effort of both the adult and the child. "In the cases we work with, we can train certain skills and knowledge at an adapted speed." When it comes to the training of the specialist, Cristina Chirilă points out: "Here you do not come with your personal problems. Above all is the child. You as an adult overcome your condition, you totally involve yourself and you have to be there for the one who really does not have and does not see that hope.”

The most beautiful definition of feedback 
At Robert Cole, the specialists work with children from the age of 1 year and a few months to students up to 18 years old, who attend the courses of the Inclusive School no. 2 and even at the Comăneşti high school. Children who come from the mass education system come only for the recovery or correction of some language deficiencies. But most of our beneficiaries are children with a disability certificate, that can range from moderate to severe with a permanent personal assistant. Children with autism, Asperger's syndrome, deaf, or children who have undergone open heart surgery and who need physical therapy, are just a few of the cases that find therapy and guidance at the association.

"Feedback is the key element in the activity we carry out here because it reflects the progress in everything. Everything that has to do with reality and life must receive feedback. Without it, you have only impressions, you are full of thoughts and you have no feeling that you have done everything that relies on you,” considers Cristina Chirilă. "Feedback ties and unravels things, it gives you strength and makes you fight more, or it makes you stop, reflect and start again, but better prepared. In order to have progress in a case, the feedback from children, specialists and parents is essential."

At Robert Cole you can experience another side of life. "You can see people involved in activities that go beyond any imagination. For the future, I want to see here as many children as possible and to see them evolve. This would be the greatest achievement,” concludes the coordinator of the association.

"Let your soul be flooded with drops of hope, in order to make their life easier, because the true value lies in the simple things. The heart has no tongue, but it is not silent for a moment."